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April 2, 2009
Dale Carnegie,
"How to Win Friends and
Influence People" (1936)
A book from which we can learn much.
First of all, we might look at p.56,
"Nine Suggestions on How to Get
the Most Out of This Book"
His intonation is
Look at the tone of absolute certainty strikingly similar
with which he puts over the idea that this to Heinlein:
is *the* book, the one and only --
"Do you know someone you
There are no nods toward modesty, would like to change and
no ritual caveats like "this book regulate and improve?
is not for everyone"... Good! That is fine. I am
all in favor of it. But
If you have any problems applying anything why not begin on
in this book, the thing to do is re-read yourself? From a purely
that chapter, and study your own behavior selfish standpoint, that
to figure out what you're doing wrong. is a lot more profitable
than trying to improve
others-- yes, and a lot
less dangerous." -- p.27
They were of the
same generation.
Maybe it was a
direct influence?
(Or perhaps more
In the chapter "Six Ways to likely, they share
Make People Like You", he an influence:
proposes that you need to Mark Twain.)
be sincerely interested in One of the Seven
other people before they'll Habits of Highly
even think about you. Successful Self-Help
Gurus: Number
He doesn't even mention Thy Principles.
the wide range of "hard
to get" strategies out
there.
Why should they care about
you if you don't care about
them? Well, maybe they'll He begins with anecdotes about
want to join your club once his boyhood dog -- and therein
they find out they can't be perhaps lies the difficulty.
a member.
Cat owners understand
perversity better than
dog people.
Dangerbaby suggests that
Carnegie's observations may
be correct, but that when
people try to fake the
behavior he recommends you
get the legendary "insurance
salesman" effect that
everyone dreads.
So it could be that
on some level you need
to be "a natural", and
studying works like this
just won't get you that
far.
The way I would put it:
You need to work
with what you are.
"You use what you've got,
and what you haven't
got, where's the mystery?"
Use your defects.
Trying to teach a
critical, reservered
person the trick of
wagging your tail and
slobbering happily is
not exactly "dangerous",
but it's pushing it.
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