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SCHOOL_OF_PAIN
March 12, 2009
April 4, 2009
Let me tell you a bit about my
early school days of gym class EARLY
traumas, alienation by warning
suburban idiocy, and so on. in effect.
I didn't know or care much
about sports, but I was still
forced to "play" them, much
to the disgust of my "team There's nothing like having
mates". people go into screaming fits
because you "walked" the ball
There was this one in basketball when you didn't
particular guy who was even know it was in play.
a recurrent problem--
who followed me for
years through the
magic of the school
class system-- a black
guy who was around 6
feet tall by age 13,
and was particularly
addicted to the
intimidation routine. This routine, for those of
you who've miraculously
avoided this, is to behave in
a threatening manner without
actually making any threats,
and to do your best to provoke
There was one nice scene a fight without actually being
that took place at the the guy to strike first.
end of gym class in
grade school-- the Ideally, you do this with
"teacher" had us all a gang backing you up,
lined up at the end of surrounding the mark so
the period, and while he that they feel trapped.
was away in his office,
Mr. Six Foot and his A particularly amusing
admiring crowd came up maneuver in the game is
to me and gave me The to act like you've let
Routine. up and gone away; and
then suddenly come down
This went on for quite hard, just when the
some time, and yet, mark is feeling a sense
strangely enough, the of relief.
"teacher" never poked
his head out of the (Kind of like Steven
office to break it up. Spielberg's sense of
pacing.)
No doubt, this experience
was intended to build my
character.
(It couldn't be that the
fellow just didn't want A few years later, there was
to deal with the big scary a particularly revealing
black kid, could it?) incident, where this kid was
acting belligerent with a
music teacher, and then there
was a look of fear on both
In retrospect, things would've sides... both student and
been a lot easier for me if teacher were aware they could
I'd been willing to react end up going somewhere they
"correctly", and behave didn't want to go. When that
submissively, displaying an was obvious to both of them,
appropriate amount of fear. the teacher laughed slightly,
and gave the kid a sad little
Instead I just sat on it (or smile, diffusing the situation.
tried to: I kept talking, but
neither rolled over with paws
in the air, nor did I start
swinging at him).
On the other hand, it could be
that things would've been even
worse if I were actively
submissive or belligerent...
possibly he was leaving me
alone most of the time,
because he wasn't getting
quite the right responses.
Around the same time, the movie version
of "West Side Story" made it to television,
and the kids were much impressed. They
started forming up "gangs" so they could
play Jets and Sharks.
I was walking down the
street one day, when a big
group of a dozen or so of
these guys came strutting by. But no lasting harm
One of them spit in my face done, and I suppose
as they were passing. They I'm over all this.
found this most hilarious. I haven't fantasized
about killing any of
them for years.
And there were many other
fun events involving other And after all, what would
people... be the point of worrying
about "getting back" at
A obnoxious fellow who liked to Mr. Six?
do things like play chicken,
attempting to run me down with The odds are pretty good
his bicycle. that this overdeveloped
black guy had his life
Or these two punks who ruined by being so close
evidently decided that (Should I explain that to the masculine
an empty lot was their they were white punks? physical ideal...
territory, and followed I keep talking about
me around for half an the Big Black Kid...) Much in the same way
hour, riding me with that women with large
ominous/obnoxious Actually, on the breasts often seem to
remarks until I picked subject of "race": have their lives
up a chunk of steel this period (late seriously messed up
electrical cable and 60s, early 70s) was because of it.
charged at them characterized by a
screaming about how I fear of being accused You can be
was going to fucking "racist", consequently, sabotaged
kill them if they didn't at school, the black by a natural
leave me alone. kids were allowed to gift.
get away with almost
That one left me anything. They played "It's important
shaking for days the race card not to be
afterwards. shamelessly, though trapped by your
where it got them was minor talents."
Junior High exactly nowhere. -- Gary Snyder
School is
rough on Had the school system
pacifists. actually not been
racist, they wouldn't
An interesting have been given so
bit: much latitude: really
no one cared about them. RACE_DOWN
One of these guys
went into a martial
arts pose, muscles
flexed, screaming an
angry kiat at the top (Back stance,
of his lungs. threatening
to spring off
It was so much like his back leg
a movie I broke out and do a high
laughing. face kick.)
He immediately dropped
the pose, stood up
straight and said
"what's so funny!?"
One of the things that was
odd about all this, is
that I probably wasn't
much smaller than Mr. Six
throughout these years.
I never felt
particularly big, but
looking back on it I
remember some stray One of the slightly
remarks: a math teacher less obnoxious jocks
(discussing ranges of gave me some kindly What I really needed
data) mentioned I was advice about how I was to get out from
the tallest kid in the was strong enough, under the thumb of
classroom; a friend but needed to be the tense domination
watching me hanging by more "coordinated"... head games.
my arms commented on my (He recommended
forest of underarm rowing.)
hair, and so on... I
was one of the people It's entirely possible
who hit puberty first. that I was a tempting
target because I was
It's not like I didn't big enough to be a
have any athletic skills: challenge, but peculiar
I tended toward solitary enough to be socially
sports of my own invention, isolated.
like climbing trees,
"tightrope walking" across
the football goal posts, and
so on.
I used to like to go
out in the school field
behind my house and
throw frisbees against
the wind, and catch
them myself. Messing around on
the playground one
I would to try to day, I showed off
juggle them, to one of my minor tricks:
see how many I (Three. there was a tree with
could keep in the And two a slightly angled trunk,
air at once. was hard and a low branch at
enough.) about five feet up.
I could climb up to it
just using my feet, by
Such an anti-social getting a run at the
child. Obviously tree first.
something was wrong
with me for not I became famous
wanting to play among people I
nicely with the didn't know or
other children. recognize as
"that kid who
runs up trees".
Oh, for those
wonderful school
days, out in the
suburban paradise Us kids had no problems
of Long Island. with violence or anything HULK_JONES
like that at all.
It was just an omnipresent
threat hovering over every THE_MIST
move, every remark, year-in
and year-out...
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