[PREV - HULK_JONES] [TOP]
SCHOOL_OF_PAIN
March 12, 2009
April 4, 2009
Let me tell you a bit about
my school days of gym class EARLY
traumas, alienation by warning
suburban idiocy, and so on. in effect.
I didn't know or care much
about sports, but I was still
forced to "play" them, much
to the disgust of my "team There's nothing like having
mates". people go into screaming fits
because you "walked" the ball
There was this one in basketball when you didn't
particular guy who was even know it was in play.
a recurrent problem--
who followed me for
years through the
magic of the school
class system-- a black
guy who was around 6
feet tall by age 13,
and was addicted to
physical intimidation This routine, for those of
games you who've miraculously
avoided this, is to behave in
a threatening manner without
actually making any threats,
and to do your best to provoke
There was one nice scene a fight without actually being
that took place at the the guy to strike first.
end of gym class in
grade school-- the Ideally, you do this with
"teacher" had us all a gang backing you up,
lined up at the end of surrounding the mark so
the period, and while he that they feel trapped.
was away in his office,
Mr. Six Foot and his A particularly amusing
admiring crowd came up maneuver in the game is
to me and gave me The to act like you've let
Routine. up and gone away; and
then suddenly come down
This went on for quite hard, just when the
some time, and yet, mark is feeling a sense
strangely enough, the of relief.
"teacher" never poked
his head out of the (Kind of like Steven
office to break it up. Spielberg's sense of
pacing.)
No doubt, this experience
was intended to build my
character.
(It couldn't be that the
fellow just didn't want A few years later, I happened to
to deal with the big scary see a revealing incident, where
black kid, could it?) this kid was acting belligerent
with a music teacher, and then
there was a look of fear on
both sides... both student
In retrospect, things would've and teacher were aware they could
been a lot easier for me if end up going somewhere they didn't
I'd been willing to react want to go. When that was obvious
"correctly", and behave to both of them, the teacher
submissively, displaying an laughed slightly, and gave the kid
appropriate amount of fear. a sad little smile, diffusing the
situation.
Instead I just sat on it (or
tried to: I kept talking, but
neither rolled over with paws
in the air, nor did I start
swinging at him).
On the other hand, it could be that
things would've been even worse if
I were actively submissive or
belligerent... possibly he was
leaving me alone most of the time,
because he wasn't getting quite the
right responses.
Around the same time, the movie version
of "West Side Story" made it to television,
and the kids were much impressed. They
started forming up "gangs" so they could
play Jets and Sharks.
I was walking down the
street one day, when a big
group of a dozen or so of
these guys came strutting by. But no lasting harm
One of them spit in my face done, and I suppose
as they were passing. They I'm over all this.
found this most hilarious. I haven't fantasized
about killing any of
them for years.
And there were many other
fun events involving other And after all, what would
people... be the point of worrying
about "getting back" at
A obnoxious fellow who liked to Mr. Six?
do things like play chicken,
attempting to run me down with The odds are pretty good
his bicycle. that this overdeveloped
black guy had his life
Or these two punks who ruined by being so close
evidently decided that (Should I explain that to the masculine
an empty lot was their they were white punks? physical ideal...
territory, and followed I keep talking about
me around for half an the Big Black Kid...) Much in the same way
hour, riding me with that women with large
ominous/obnoxious Actually, on the breasts often seem to
remarks until I picked subject of "race": have their lives
up a chunk of steel this period (late seriously messed up
electrical cable and 60s, early 70s) was because of it.
charged at them characterized by a
screaming about how I fear of being accused You can be
was going to fucking "racist", consequently, sabotaged
kill them if they didn't at school, the black by a natural
leave me alone. kids were allowed to gift.
get away with almost
That one left me anything. They played "It's important
shaking for days the race card not to be
afterwards. shamelessly, though trapped by your
where it got them was minor talents."
Junior High exactly nowhere. -- Gary Snyder
School is
rough on Had the school system
pacifists. actually not been racist,
the black kids wouldn't
An interesting have been given so much
bit, while they latitude: really no one
were following cared about them. RACE_DOWN
me around:
One of these guys
went into a martial
arts pose, muscles (Back stance,
flexed, screaming an threatening
angry kiat at the top to spring off
of his lungs. his back leg
and do a high
It was so much like face kick.)
a movie I broke out
laughing.
He immediately dropped
the pose, stood up
straight and said
"what's so funny!?"
One of the things that was
odd about all this, is
that I probably wasn't
much smaller than Mr. Six
throughout these years.
I never felt
particularly big, but One of the slightly
looking back on it I less obnoxious jocks
remember some stray gave me some kindly
remarks: a math teacher advice about how I was What I really needed
(discussing ranges of strong enough, but was to get out from
data) mentioned I was needed to be more under the thumb of all
the tallest kid in the "coordinated"... (He of these tense
classroom; a friend recommended rowing.) domination head games.
watching me hanging by
my arms commented on my
forest of underarm It's entirely possible
hair, and so on... I that I was a tempting
was one of the people target because I was big
who hit puberty first. enough to be a challenge,
but peculiar enough to be
It's not like I didn't have socially isolated.
any athletic skills: I tended
toward solitary sports of my I was also peculiar enough to
own invention, like climbing refuse to give in, which made
trees, "tightrope walking" for frustrating ecounters on
across the football goal all sides.
posts, and so on.
I used to like to go out in
the school field behind my
house and throw frisbees
against the wind, and catch Messing around on the
them myself. playground one day, I
showed off one of my
I would to try to minor tricks: there was a
juggle them, to tree with a slightly
see how many I angled trunk, and a low
could keep in the (Three. branch at about five feet
air at once. And two up. I could get up on
was hard that branch without using
enough.) my hands, by getting a
run at the tree first.
Such an anti-social child.
Obviously something was wrong with I became famous among
me for not wanting to play nicely people I didn't know or
with the other children. recognize as "that kid
who runs up trees".
Oh, for those
wonderful school
days, out in the
suburban paradise Us nice suburban kids had no
of Long Island. problems with violence or HULK_JONES
anything like that at all.
It was just an omnipresent
threat hovering over every THE_MIST
move, every remark, year-in
and year-out...
--------
[NEXT - RACE_DOWN]